Defining Passion

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, Passion is, A: ardent affection : love B : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept C : sexual desire D : an object of desire or deep interest.
The passion I’m speaking of consist of definitions A,B and D. C if you’re going into the adult industry. Nothing wrong with that if that’s your passion. I’ve thought about it but I think I’m only passionate about it in the privacy of my own bedroom. But seriously, what is your passion? Is it baking, fishing, sewing, or laziness?
One thing to help you figure this out, and I know it might sound a little high schoolish, but take one of those career quizzes. Although I already know what I want to do, I took the quiz at www.dreamit-doit.com and it was dead-on accurate. Other websites with fun test or quizzes are: myfuture.com, careerpath.com, and careertest.net. You can also do a simple search on google for “aptitude test” or “career quiz”. These tests were entertaining, fun, and accurate; especially if you are unsure of what it is you would be interested in. You could get a lot of ideas to brainstorm through. After you get some career ideas, discuss them with your friends or family and see what they feel would be a good match for you. In the end, it’s your decision, but it doesn’t hurt to get opinions from others who have a different perspective of you than you may have of yourself.
Another way to start may be to think of things that make you happy and see if there’s any way you can make a career out of it. With the internet growing and things changing and evolving, there’s sure to be a way for you and your new career. I’m also available for an opinion or two if you email me! Also try snooping around. Yeah, sounds weird, I know. But have you ever thought about talking to others on the net about what they do and how they got into it? Ask a relative or a friend if you can come to their job for a couple of hours just to see if it would be something you would be interested in. Nothing like being up close and personal… hey… that’s a movie title! Did you happen to see it? Heard it was good. Anyway, finding your passion might take a little work, but in the end it will be worth it. Go out and claim your passion! I feel better already, writing for you awesome people. I’m enjoying the fact that someone is actually reading my writings and sincerely hope that at least a few of you are finding this to be helpful. That’s another thing about passion. At the end of the day, you feel worthy because not only are you doing something that you enjoy, but others are benefiting from it. Makes you feel like you’re not just another moving dot on the face of the universe but more so like a contributor. This morning I left for work (at the bank) with tears in my eyes and trust me, they were not tears of joy. Tonight I’m ending my day with a smile on my face 

Comedy Relief

I needed this when I lost my job at the call center. Part of my passion is acting and comedy so some advice for you may also be to record yourself. Release some of the tensions that you're facing at work!

When is the last time you've been dawned on?

Some people call it God. Some call it the force. I simply call it your inner voice. It’s you. Nobody knows you better than yourself. No you’re not crazy and yes your spirit really does converse with you. Deceased uncle Freddy might get caught up in the conversation sometimes but for the most part, it’s you. Everybody has a defense mechanism. If you don’t do right by you… your soul will turn on you and bring everything else around it down. You claim you can’t figure out for the love of God why your life is going nowhere but you know why. It’s because you’re forcing yourself to live a life that’s not pleasing to you. You’re living a life that’s convenient. But a life that’s convenient out of necessity may not be healthy for you.
The fact that you work as a nurse but you’d rather be a singer so you deny your soul what it yearns for. How mean is that? Yes you went to school for nursing and it pays well but it’s only convenient for your material life. Find a way to make a living from your passion. Not saying that helping people get well is a bad and terrible thing, but have you ever considered leaving that job for people who are really passionate about it? All I’m saying is that if you occasionally get teary eyed when thinking about what it is you’d really like to be doing, then maybe you should try to find a way to do it. Duh!
This brings my mother to mind. She grew up in a teeny tiny city in Tennessee. Maybe it’s just teeny tiny compared to Chicago, but from what it sounded like, it was tiny. She was a young black girl. Most girls her age became hairdressers and teachers. Two of the things that my mom happen to despise. To her, it was a label, something to expect of a young black girl and she didn’t take kind to someone trying to fit her into a box. She was a dreamer. She had different ideas. An outsider if you will. But it was her passion that lead her to set out and become what she became. An Entrepreneur. My mom ran her own bakery for over 30 years and she started with nothing but a passion. She loved baking. She loved the love that went into baking. So she baked little tart pies from her home and sold them to restaurants, thus igniting a business overnight. All of that from passion. What’s yours?

The Birth

Let’s go back. Close your eyes… no wait. You’re reading. Sorry. Okay, let’s think really hard while reading. It’s like that stupid phrase you use on job interviews. Yes… multitasking. I’ll go first. My earliest memory is at the age of two. I had just been potty trained so I’m not wearing any diapers. I have on a red jumpsuit and I had forgotten to put on my underwear so I can feel the seam riding up my butt… okay, this is another story. Let’s fast forward to the question that everyone starts to ask. “What do you want to do when you grow up?” Wow. That’s a lot of pressure on a kid. Fortunately for me I already knew. I’d reply, “I wanna be a writer.” Now why I wanted to be a writer… I don’t know. All that I remember is that I liked to tell stories on paper. So now at least I have some sort of goal. To become a writer. I’ve had this goal in mind since then but for some odd reason I keep trying to go against it or around it.
Earlier this year, I was on my way home from a temp agency. I was trying to plea my case with the staff there because I had just been fired…. That sounds so harsh. I had been “released” from the position for being a no call no show. Yeah I know, I broke the rules, blah blah fucking blah. I’m sorry! It was the day after Valentines Day. It fell on a Sunday and I was still on cloud 9 from me and my sweetie’s evening before. No not literally on cloud 9. I didn’t get high. We didn’t even drink. I was just so happy to spend some alone time with him without the kids. All this to say that I ended up not even calling in to work. I figured I’d get fussed at, sent an email with a warning… whatever. I just knew I didn’t normally do things like this and it was sure to be my last. Unfortunately for me it really was my last chance at playing hooky. As I sat there with an apologetic look on my face and listened to my Human Resource manager break down the policies to me, my heart began to break as she slowly uttered, “We’re going to have to end your assignment.”
Whatever suppressed thoughts I had suddenly surfaces and spilled all down my cheeks. “Please don’t do this to me LaLady, (this is a fake name). I’m sorry!”
As I’m walking home on that sunny winter day, I was thinking about how It all started when I lost my dad this past December and how my car got stolen two weeks later only to have it returned completely damaged and then repossessed by the car dealership but not before the only set of keys were lost leaving the burden of my kids to be handed down to my recently widowed mother so that I could make it to work on the train on time. Yeah it’s a long story I know. But hey, my sweetie still has his job with the city so not all is bad.
So I’m home on the internet, filling out applications and sending out my resume only to find out that I’ve just signed up with some damn spammer and now I have a trillion new emails in my spam folder. As I’m doing this, I’m like woa. WTF! Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I steady looking for work that either I’ll get tired of and quit or get fired from? And that’s when it dawned on me. Not that this was my first time getting dawned on, but something about this time made me take it a little more serious. “You know why you’re life isn’t working out for you?” I asked myself. “It’s because you keep pretending to be a normal person who’s pretending to be a writer instead of being the writer that you really are!” Woa. That thought really got to me this time. So I decided to open up MS Word and write.
My question to you is… when is the last time that you’ve been dawned on?

I Hate My Job

I know you hate your job. That’s why you’re reading this. I hate mine too. That’s why I’m writing this. Everyday I wake up, it’s a struggle because I know what I’m facing. I have to look at my boss for one. The lady who smiles in my face and talks about me behind my back…. Well I assume she’s talking about me because she’s always whispering to the assistant manager while standing behind me. It’s annoying. Then there are the customers who stand in line with an attitude, expecting for something to go wrong. I swear their energy brings on the mistakes that happen at the counter. After reciting our stupid slogan over and over again for eight hours is enough to make anyone want to quit, but you don’t.

Everyday as I’m driving home from work, all I can think about is how the day went and how I have to go back and do the same thing tomorrow. It’s such a detriment on your health to dread your workday. There are days when I just sit back and wonder how I got to this point. Sometimes we all ask ourselves that question. And those of us that are over thirty ask ourselves even more questions. “Where did I go wrong? How many more years have I got before I turn 40?” Or are you already 40? I know what you’re thinking because these are my thoughts and guys like us think alike. There’s a point in your life when you just have to sit back and say, “What the fuck?” It’s a question for many things. What the fuck am I doing with my life? What the fuck am I doing with five kids? What the fuck am I doing at this job?” That’s a lot of what the fucks. And when you’re asking yourself WTF (we’ll abbreviate it for now), all the time, this means it’s time to move on.

“Well how do we move on?” You ask. How do I find that perfect job? How do I find the peace that I’m looking for? How do I find my passion or how can I make a living from my passion? Although I don’t have the one perfect answer for you, I do have suggestions and I have my life to share, so hopefully through this blog/e-book, I can give you some guidance and help myself as well in the process. Now if your question is WTF am I doing broke, please don’t go knock off a bank. You’ll be asking yourself WTF am I doing in an 8x8 cell with someone who’s looking at me as if I’m the last piece of ass on earth and I don’t want you asking yourself that, so please… let’s not go there. To find the answer, maybe we’ll start by looking into our background… yes, from birth. We have to get this right.